Legacy

On a men’s mastermind call a couple of Tuesdays ago, we walked down the path of ancestry…

A few days later I was being interviewed by a dear friend and colleague. Based on his questions, he’s working on what’s sure to become a fascinating, deep examination of all-things legacy, viewed from just about every imaginable angle…

Maybe it’s a function of age – or perhaps a poignant, natural response to witnessing my father’s rapidly moving cognitive decline – one way or another, the topic of legacy seems to be in close-earth orbit, so I’m paying attention.

It’s easy to jettison off into overwhelm when legacy enters the picture. After all, just the word itself is laden with enough historical, familial and more cultural baggage to send the average amygdala on a speedy hijacking binge…

So let’s start by dialing it back a bit, shall we?

A quick search across the interwebs yields such things as inherited money, scars from disease or battle, traditions, foundations and a whole mess of other possibilities…

In other words, the stuff we hand down, particularly along ancestral, generational and/or cultural lines.

Needless to say, some legacies are desirable and some – not so much.

In my own family system, my mother passed on a legacy rich in all-things-cultural…

She was also somewhat of a ninja when it came to wielding shame as a corrective, disciplinary device…

The cultural stuff we loved and kept.

The shame stuff, if you haven’t guessed, we’ve done our individual and collective level best to leave behind…

I like to think of myself as a good parent to my son.

In the early days of my parenting, though, both my son and I know that I made some monumentally idiotic mistakes that do not form the basis of any ancestral legacy I’d want to see carried forward.

It’s the ancestral element in all of this that I’m fascinated by, because in my world, we’re all tasked in some way with playing ancestral roles – regardless of whether or not we have, or will ever, raise children.

There will, after all, be something left behind after each of us has come and gone…

And, not to put on the pressure, but rather just because it strikes me as what’s so, there is something – however small – left behind every time we interact with our environment, community and anyone and everyone we come across on any given day.

It’s those seemingly small interactions, like the steady drip of water on stone, that creates the larger picture of one’s legacy over time.

In Pixar’s 2017 film “Coco”, legacy is addressed in more ways than I have time and space for here. One gem that stands out is the notion that, as long as one continues to be remembered, their spirit lives on in the afterworld. (By the way, it’s also a visually stunning movie – time well spent…)

Similarly, Jewish tradition offers the words “May their memory be a blessing” to mourners – or adds “of blessed memory” when conversationally referring to one who has died…

The legacy reminder continuum includes everything from ancient pyramids to Day of the Dead celebrations to simple, reflective acts such as lighting a candle or taking the memory of a loved one for a quiet walk…

What we end up with is the notion that, whether we do things great or small, an impression sticks around.

Just to toss one more important ingredient into the legacy pot here, I’m pointing toward grounded responsibility rather than flights of ego fantasy. (The ego just loves the idea of a grandiose pyramid or, if it’s in a bad self-diminishing mood, an insignificant, sandy vacant lot…)

All of which circles back to those small interactions mentioned earlier…

When you step back and look at the aggregated data of your own interactions across the span of your lifetime, what picture comes into focus?

What parts do you want to excise, paint over or otherwise leave behind?

What bits do you want to be sure to protect and pass along?